Saturday, October 11, 2008

sS, vV

My weekdays, moving between three schools helping English learners, vary greatly: from Kindergarten to 8th grade; from letter recognition (little letters/big ones=lower case/capitals) and practicing finding the ones that belong to their names (Luz was lucky, only three; Ignacio had to keep looking at his crayon box) to pre-algebra concepts I never learned (or forgotten by now!); from filling out IEP's, translating forms, interpreting for non-English speaking parents to administering spelling and reading tests and English competency placement tests to just being there for a diabetic teacher whose blood-sugar-level fell suddenly.
f.l.e.x.i.b.i.l.i.t.y is the name of the game. Those are some of the things I do as a "bilingual specialist." The title is fancier than the job.
Saturdays bring even more variety: I ran Taylor's Homecoming 5K; went to grandsons games--Skye's football and Malachi's soccer; did some shopping; and dropped in on former colleague's 40th birthday open house. And here I am attempting to make sense of all the day's thoughts and post another blog. (How on earth did they/we manage to reflect/write/edit without a computer in the "good old days"? Oh, there was no blogging!)

Anyway, many questions tumble around my mind, like clothes in the dryer.
People are always asking me, "How do you like your new job?" or "How's it going on the job?" And there is so much I am still trying to figure out, not only about the new job, but about myself and life's transitions. Like, why am I thrown into new contexts and learning situations over and over again. Is it wrong to question? Am I putting on a good front most of the time or am I truly content? Are there feelings I simply push down?

As I was running today, I overheard the conversation of the group behind me (obviously they were not racing if they could still converse!) The woman speaking was talking about story vs. Story and vision vs. Vision. My story, our stories vs. God's Story. My vision, our vision vs. God's Vision. How do the struggles and successes of my life story fit into the bigger picture of God's Story and His Vision and purpose? I need not know, simply trust and follow and love.

2 comments:

Kim said...

transition: 1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc.

I'm reminded of those days of my youth when we'd fill up our four foot high pool with cold water at the beginning of summer. That first dive in always required some mental and physical preparation since I knew the transition from warm air to cold water would literally take my breath away. It never failed to shock my nervous system and I KNEW and anticipated that.

That's how all these transitions feel. But I'm not always mentally and physically prepared. And it takes my breath away and I wonder, and question, the wisdom of "diving in". But what's the alternative?

Yes, trusting God is the only thing to do. But it doesn't make the water any less cold.

rita said...

That was beautiful, Kim. Thank you!